My family and life

I'm half-way through March, 2010! Where did January and February go???

Well... January and February were incredibly busy for me at work. I was asked by the Bank to help with the liquidation of Barnes Bank after they were seized by the FDIC. I'm grateful that I was able to help with the process because I was able to learn a lot about another aspect of my job, and a part of the job that a lot of long-time bankers have never experienced. I was incredibly busy visiting with their business clients I was assigned to and making sure their money was transferred to another bank. Most of the clients I worked with moved their accounts over to me, and I have some incredible clients in my portfolio from this unfortunate event, and some moved to another bank, and I was happy to help them. Going through a bank closing creates a lot of stress for people and I feel fortunate to have been able to be a part of it and help them. Helping businesses is the one thing, above all, that I really enjoy the most about my job. It was an entire month before I finally "caught up" and was able to take a breather once again.

Isik's work schedule has taken some time to get used to. Since he is working the International Market he goes to work very early and so he has to go to bed very early. Essentially, I work my "day job" and then I come home and most evenings I make dinner, (there are those days that I am too exhausted to cook a meal and so we find something for everyone to eat,) Isik generally takes Austin to his respective obligation, either Scouts or Taekwondo (because he has something every night of the week), and then I go through Sam's bedtime routine and get Isik to bed around the same time, then I pick Austin up. Yes, it's pretty exhausting. By the time the weekend rolls around I don't want to do anything.

Isik was not getting good sleep, sometimes he would only sleep for an hour before going to work, sometimes he stayed up because he had to work in the evening and then he'd just go into the office in the wee-hours of the morning, but most nights he was getting about 3-4 hours of sleep. For obvious reasons this wasn't working for him or our family. Last week he went to the doctor and we found out he has classic insomnia, no surprise there. The doc gave him a prescription for Ambien, which at first I was very nervous about. The first night he took it I stayed up for hours after I should have been asleep (because I really am an 8-hour-a-night girl) because I was nervous. He did fantastic! He has taken it for four nights now, sleeping 7-8 hours at a time, and it has made a drastic difference for him. I still get to fulfill all the family obligations, but it seems to be more manageable than it has been the past couple months. He's in bed, and generally sleeping, by 8 PM. I'm not so worried about him not getting appropriate sleep. He's happier and that makes me happy.

Austin has been really struggling with his "future" and what path / direction he wants to adventure down. On Sunday he threw the biggest bomb at me, and I absolutely did not expect it! He told me he wanted to join the Marines, which my response was (trying to hold back tears), "I can't talk about this right now." I left the room and tried to compose myself so I could listen to him with an open mind. When I came back Isik and Austin were discussing the different options. Austin has decided that he wants to go Navy ROTC and he would like to be a fighter pilot. My beautiful blond headed, blue eyed boy, that I have loved with all my heart and soul for fifteen years, has picked his path. He is so incredibly brilliant, so thick-skinned, and has so much to offer. He will really be great one day and I am so thankful that I have been able to help him go through his journey of life. We met with the school counselor this morning and he signed up for the Junior ROTC program, which he will start next year. This will provide him with great leadership skill training, military structure, and an inside perspective to the ROTC program and the military. He will be able to determine if this is in fact the path he wants to go. I KNOW that he will thrive and be incredibly successful. With his intelligence and his abilities he will truly accomplish great things. I am excited to watch him. However, as the first person in his life to hold him close, the first person to ever have loved him before anyone else, the first person to feed him and teach him, and the first person to laugh at him and with him, I am so sad to see him growing up and making these tough decisions. The reality that he is going to be moving on and won't be needing me (he will always need me, just in different ways) hit me today and the only word to describe my feeling is sad. I know it is selfish, but I've been selfish with him his whole life, why should it be any different now?

Austin has been receiving, almost daily, letters from Universities all over the country. He has a lot of potential and he will be a very valuable asset to any company or any institution that is lucky enough to have him.

Austin is competing in the State Math Competition, one of five sophomores from his school. This will be the second time he has been invited to compete. Once again, another great opportunity for him.

Sam is so simple. All he needs is someone to play with him. He thinks he is so grown up. He is a parrot and mimics his older brother constantly. I love watching him grow and develop. I love listening to him sing his songs that he creates. He started gymnastics two months ago, surpassing three levels instantly and starting in the 7-8 year old group. I don't know if he will do it for much longer, because I think he is getting bored with it, but it is fun to watch him develop.

I love my family!